Sexual
abuse is one of the most devastating forms of abuse,
since our sexuality is so closely connected with our
identity in the world, our sense of self. There are
a number of different ways people can be sexually abused.
The kind of abuse each person experiences (what was
done to them, or what they observed), plus the age(s)
when the abuse occurred, carries with it it's own specific
psychological and emotional injuries, and thereby, it's
own path of healing.
A
person who has been inappropriately fondled, for example,
may have similar, but different issues to resolve compared
to a person who was violently raped. A person who was
molested at age 12 one time may have similar, but different
issues to resolve compared to as a person who was repeatedly
molested starting at age 3. A person who experienced
sexual feelings during an act of abuse may have similar,
but different issues to resolve compared to a person
who felt "only" pain or humiliation.
Many
people who were sexually abused suffer with internal
conflicts related to their bodies. They may have problems
liking their bodies, or parts of their bodies, or enjoying
their sexuality. They may "space out" (disassociate)
during sex, divorcing their emotions from their physical
sensations. They may find themselves compulsively sexual,
or not wanting sex to be a part of their lives at all.
Many people who were sexually abused do not experience
sexual symptoms, and may be orgasmic, or even multiorgasmic.
Sometimes their symptoms present as depression, or bi-polar,
meaning extreme highs and lows. Some people have a high
level of anxiety, or panic attacks, and others have
drug, alcohol or food addictions. Many times sexual
abuse survivors struggle in relationships, not knowing
how to trust or who to trust. Many times they cannot
identify, understand or manage their emotions.
Recovery
from sexual abuse involves a number of different tasks,
depending on the form of abuse, the age it took place,
and whether the person had any emotional support afterwards.
A main task of psychotherapy for sexual abuse is to
help separate past events from the way that he/she thinks
about who they are, and their value in the world. The
belief that "I am what happened to me," or "I caused
or deserved it," is common and must be addressed continuously
throughout the therapy.
Feelings
of extreme shame and self-blame are common. Often, the
sexually abused person blocks out memory of the abuse.
A survivor may remember all the details, but not the
emotions, or sensations. Or, the survivor may have emotions
and physical sensations, but is unable to connect them
to any memory of the details.
The
goals of psychotherapy for sexual abuse include:
1.Helping
the survivor develop a new way of thinking about what
happened and eliminating shame attached to the memory
(regardless of whether it is a visual memory, body memory
or both). 2.Creating a new relationship between the
person and their body, thus creating a positive body
image. 3.Learning to feel comfortable with physical
sensations, which could interfere not just with sex,
but with other activities such as sports or exercise,
or just non-sexual touch. 4.Teaching the survivor how
to trust their feelings about others, which allows for
more emotional, as well as physical intimacy in relationships.
Naturally,
the length of treatment differs from person to person,
based on the age at which the abuse occurred, the frequency
and type of abuse suffered, the relationship a person
had or has with the perpetrator(s), and the person's
internal coping strategies for handling it. As therapy
progresses, the survivor begins to act and feel more
confident and secure. He or she will develop a greater
sense of control, and learn how to identify and manage
his or her emotions. Finally, the person will develop
a positive body image, and a greater ability to love,
and experience love from others.
